Someone told me that I shouldn't post Blog updates so rarely... *LOL* but when you've got nothing of interest to say... what do you do? *LOL*

I guess I'm making excuses... I mean, I could mention how I'm still having difficulty motivating myself... or I could mention how my doctor prescribed Lipitor to bring down my cholesterol... and that he demanded that I change my diet... but did I? no... :(

I could mention how I'm starting college again... got my employer to pay for me to go to an online university... but I'm already struggling... so it's kind of chipping away slowly at my self-esteem...

I could mention how the marriage is going well... and occasionally, my wife and I even work out together... I love some of the things she wears when we go jogging together... but that's neither here nor there... *L*

Or, I could just flat out say that I'm sick of all the contradictions and whatnot... THIS weight is healthy, THAT weight is not... BMI... BP... BFP... blah blah blah... now I can understand why some folks either let themselves become content with being overweight, or they choose extreme ventures like gastric bypass surgery and whatnot... I've seen firsthand what healthy dieting & exercise can do to me, and I've seen firsthand what the opposite can do to me...

Bottom line... why is it so hard to motivate yourself? Why is it that I could drive home from work one day, angry or upset about my day... and I could pull into an Arby's drive through and spend $8-10 on enough food to feed two people, and down it all before I get home? Why is it that I have the healthy option sitting right in front of me and I rarely choose it?

I thank God for giving me so many choices, day in and day out... but I need to step up and take them. What is the problem with me? As my neck & waist get thicker, and my clothes fit less and less, I wonder what's next for me... what kind of example I can be to my kids... how long I'll even be around... as I read the next issue of Men's Health, with a great picture of Jason Statham on the cover... last month's was a great issue, with Jamie Foxx on the cover... the magazine is a great read, as is every other piece of reading material related to fitness, weight loss, etc. that I've picked up in the past 24 months. Now here's the kicker - ask me if any of their motivation stuck with me for longer than 3 months.

I've got a gym membership I'm not even using. I bought workout clothes I wear around the house when I'm cleaning or doing yardwork. I've got a bicycle in the garage I rarely ride.

I guess I'm just at the end of my rope here... trying to figure out what in the world is supposed to motivate me... what do I say to myself... how do I fight through wanting to always give up...

Oh, look... the next issue of Cooking Light... guess I'll read that now... *sigh*

Let's Do It Again...

Ok... so it's been 3 months since my last Blog post. Because of the upcoming wedding, and because I'd gotten out of routine, I let everything fall by the wayside. No exercise. No maintaining healthy eating habits. I even backed off SIGNIFICANTLY on my daily water intake. My body hasn't changed much, but I have ganed back 12 or so pounds. Lately, I've been hovering between 301 and 305. But now things have to change. I'm now married... got a new job (well, the same job... just more security and more money)... things are settled and back to normal, and now I really need to kick things back into high gear. But this time, I gotta do it slowly... set little goals and get things back on track. Here are a list of goals I'm setting for myself - short-term and long-term. Some are new, some are things I was doing before and began to let myself neglect.

drink 100 oz. of water daily
eat breakfast daily
eat 5 meals per day
30 minutes of cardio 3 times per week
30 minutes of cardio-resistance weight training 2 times per week
maintain 1 Cheat Day per week
sleep at least 6 hours per night
prepare lunches for the week every Sunday
cook dinner at least 4 times per week
maintain healthy snacks at my desk at work
limit red meat consumption to 1 meal per week
limit meat consumption to 3 days per week
eliminiate visits to any fast food restaurants

I'll probably add some more goals in there... but for now, that's all I can think of. And as I completely incorporate each of these goals into my lifestyle, I'll check each one off... so... say a little prayer and re-embark on this journey!

Got The Motivation I Needed...

OK... so why am I not doing any exercise but I'm still losing weight? Maybe it's this Vegan diet... all this tofu and soy protein and vegetables and Vegan-converted recipes... :) Sunday, I cooked brunch for some folks from my church. I made stuffed French toast, fresh hashed browned potatoes, fruit salad, veggie sausage, turkey sausage, Creole dirty rice (using veggie "meat" crumbles), and cornbread. And the only item on the menu that had something in it that went against the Vegain diet was the turkey sausage. :) One lady even said, "I never thought I could get full on Vegan food..."

Anyway... because of how diligent I've been, I'm down to 288 lbs.! A lot of my clothes (specifically, dress clothes) don't fit anymore. To a degree, it's almost cool to see myself "swimming" in two of my suits. :) I need to take a recent picture and compare it to how I looked last summer, and see if there's a noticeable difference. But I know this - I'm going to be in at least a size 48 suit... maybe even a 46!

In Need of Motivation...

OK... so it's been a while since my last Blog update... a LONG while... shoot, the seasons changed between my last update and now! *LOL* I've been really bad. I'm behind on everything. I've stopped working out, I'm behind on my Proverbs reading... I dunno. At least I'm still drinking a lot of water every day, and I'm still following the Vegan diet... so I haven't ballooned back up to 330 lbs. yet. But I'm afraid to weigh myself. And I have been a fried potato FIEND :( eating up French Fries left and right... I even had some steak fries today with my salad I had for lunch. Last night I told myself I would jog before choir rehearsal and I napped all afternoon and was 20 minutes late.

Last time I worked out, you ask? March 10th. I jogged/walked for 3 miles, and read all the way up to Proverbs 15. I want to have all 32 chapters read by the end of April, but I'm off my mark a little bit. My computer at home crashed big time, so I can't put any new music onto my iPod. I'm behind on projects at work, and stressing about having a job after May 31st... and I've just been tired a lot. I also did a bad move recently... after a recent visit to my cousin's house where I met a doctor who told me that water-soluble multi-vitamins are better than fat-soluble or time-release, I stopped taking my GNC Mega Man time-release multi-vitamin. I've been trying to find a water-soluble one to replace it, but no such luck. I could be trying harder... but you know... I just didn't.

I can still fit into the same clothes I raved about 2 weeks ago... I just don't want this to be the end of this journey. But how badly do I truly want it?

I Reached a Milestone!

OK... so I wake up Saturday morning and jump onto the scale... 297! I'm finally out of the 300's! I don't plan on returning either. Folks are really noticing me getting thinner, and my clothes are really getting too big (i.e. my watch, dress shirts, suits, etc.). My eating habits are definitely consistent and healthy now... I'm really feeling great about where this is going.

So I Had a Weak Moment...

See... this is how good God is. He gives me the opportunity to be open and honest about what I'm going through, and to not have any inhibitions about it... so that maybe my journey might help someone else. It's definitely helping me to document it, and to be blatantly honest about everything I'm experiencing.

With that said...

Last night, I had a strong urge for some fries. So... on the way to choir rehearsal, I stopped at Wendy's and got 2 orders of their largest size of fries and a small Mr. Pibb. And proceeded to scarf it all down within the 6-minute drive between the Wendy's and the rehearsal. I felt REALLY bad afterward... my mood was very low during rehearsal. But the music... the way I connect with God through the music and the lyrics... really helped me get back on track. I went to bed last night feeling a lot better about being able to look back on that weak moment and forgive myself for it, rather than beat myself up for it like I've done so many times in the past.

That being said... I woke up this morning and I was a pound lighter! So... I'm still on my way to my March mini-goal. 16 pounds to go, and I'm looking forward to reaching and surpassing that mark.

I didn't get to work out last night - gonna try either this evening or tomorrow morning.

Another Workout in the Books...

So, after a much-needed nap last night, I hit the gym at about 8:30pm. Yeah, it's an awkward time, but I felt an itch to get in there and get some work done. I did 15 minutes on the treadmill (while reading the Contemporary English version of Proverbs 9-12), and then hit that Smith machine again. Once again, I did 3 15-rep sets of squats and 3 15-rep sets of chest presses, both at 85 lbs. And then I did 3 minutes on the heavy bag - jabs, right hooks, and single- and double-round kicks from my right leg. I was dog tired after working that heavy bag, but I felt good having gotten in there and gotten some work done. And folks are really noticing that I'm slimming down... :)

I may not make my mini-goal tomorrow... so here's my plan - if I hit it, my mini-goal for March is 280 lbs. If I don't hit it, my mini-goal for March is 285 lbs. I'll keep myself honest.

And... I've discovered a new favorite lunch - 1 can of Goya Black Bean Soup, 1 package of Uncle Ben's Microwave Long Grain Brown Rice, and 1 piece of fruit! I mix the soup and the rice together, and I'm getting 2 servings of each for a total calorie count of 820 calories... it's low-sodium, and it's filling me up too! So you know my pantry is stocked.